I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
