Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
