a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
