his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This house was built for laser tag.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
