Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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