I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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