we made out on top of his cat.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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