Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He felt like a one man threesome
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
