I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
