Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
