i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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