Do vagina's smell?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
