i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
