So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize