You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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