he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the raccoons are back...
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