I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
well most of my day revolves around power hour
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
