Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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