so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
