You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
