If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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