Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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