How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
