I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't think brook has ever known best
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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