It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
tell me about the fingering
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