I wish I could teleport
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
