wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
