Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
