It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
