I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
