I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
