Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
