i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dear god my vagina.
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