I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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