i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
where are my eyebrows?
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