soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
