I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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