my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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