I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
