at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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