dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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