Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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