Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
