will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Text me some of your sweat
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