Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
