Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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