The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
