Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
