Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
