I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
