I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
